I feel somewhat guilty bitching about what may seem minor stuff when my mom's in the hospital (she's got an infection of something or other by the way, but seems to be on the mend, after a bit of an anxiety attack last night), but... damn. Few reserves left.
The problem? Dentist appointment. Yes, the one I was originally supposed to finish up like a month ago or thereabouts, but I kept postponing it because Crap Kept Happening, and I was just a bundle of nerves, and then insomnia has been dealing the final blows. Well, this time I STILL didn't sleep all that great, finally managed to doze off at some point around halfway between 7 and 8 am. But since I'd made my appointment at 2pm this time, and managed to sleep in til after noon, at least I'm not completely and totally as wiped as I have been some of the other days.
It was a horrible horrible night though. I'm sure insomnia sufferers won't need the description of lying down in plenty of time, trying to sleep, not drifting off yet, then each ten minutes that goes by, realizing that it's that much a shorter time you have to get to sleep to have any sort of decent night's sleep, realizing that you're entering a vicious cycle of getting more and more anxious about sleeping, making you less and less likely to sleep, but being unable to stop it... yeah. LONG fucking night.
It didn't help that my mom had that anxiety thing earlier in the night, adding to my worry about her, and that I'd gotten about 2 hours' sleep the night before (plus around a 2 hour nap during the day) because of my tooth acting up and hurting like a stone-cold bitch that night, plus... female problems, to use one of the current phrases making me feel even crappier. So, yeah. Long long long night.
Then of course I was nervous leading up to the dentist appointment itself, due to my normal nerves, plus my total nervous wreck state I've been in for the past, oh, month or so, plus the fact that I've delayed this appointment a few times and had one abortive attempt at it which all adds to the anxiety (you might not understand it unless you're a neurotic type yourself, but trust me, it makes it worse). So... yeah.
The funny part in an amusing-but-not way is that the appointment itself was a breeze. I managed to keep a tight enough rein on my nerves that I wasn't feeling too ill when I got there, and since most of the drilling had been done previously, I was in and out in about half an hour, without anything really bad.
And now at least... it's DONE! Hallelujah, ramen.
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