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Dear (not really) Verizon:

You run a fucking COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY. Is it REALLY so goddamned hard for you to have your pay-by-internet option up and running at least ONCE in a while? Because every damned time I have tried to pay that way over the last three months or so, I get the "this service is not available at this time" we're having difficulties/can't find our asses with both hands song and dance routine. It's getting really old.

And then, after you apprently can't even get/keep this option working for your customers, forcing us to go through the annoyance of having to write checks and use stamps and so on, you have the BALLS to call me every so often wanting to know if I want to try out Verizon DSL? And put my whole internet CONNECTION into your inept hands?

Bitch, puh-leeze.