March 15th, 2006



That pretty much sums up my feelings right now, which at least is an improvement over, say a half-hour long crying jag. Of course, I'm not counting out the possibility of more crying jags, sharper grief, etc., but the longer I go on I guess the better it'll get. I'm still not looking forward to trying to sleep again tonight, though. Anyhow, it still hurts, but not as sharply, and already I'm starting to vaguely get back to normalcy, although it'll be at least until after the viewing and funeral for me to really start feeling normal, if then.

Speaking of which, viewing is Friday (two sessions, two hours each,) and funeral is Saturday. I guess that's probably the best timing for it, since I want them to be *over* with so I can move on, and grieve for my mother in my own way rather than being on display for a bunch of family who are practically strangers at this point, and at the same time I want to be able to recover somewhat before them, and one more day's buffer between now and the viewings is welcome.

I'm just really not looking forward to them at all, for so many varied reasons. I want them to be in the past. But at least I'm starting to feel very slightly more up to handling them. Cross your fingers.

And oh, what the hell happened to the page style I was using, damnit? I happened to like the setup. Blah. Now my recent entries and friends' pages are all... different. Guess one of these days I'll have to actually get around to doing my own custom setup.
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