I may have to... *gasp shock* prioritize.
Edit: Since looking back I realize that the tone of this post comes across more as "poor poor me," I'm mostly just... boggled. Except for one pair of items, these are all completely unrelated, so... why August 25th? o_O
Edit 2: Crap, I knew I forgot something. Make that 7 items. Although one is something I'm not like needing right this second, it's something that I'd like to pick up eventually, which helps.