In this case, upon my throwing down the controller, racing down with the phone and investigating, "another large object" happened to be our front porch.
I immediately dialed 911, since the front of the vehicle was *totaled* and it just sounded bad, but as soon as I saw someone get out, and say no one was hurt, I reported that to them and they switched me over to the police, who came out to investigate.
All I know is that it was some younger guy, on a provisional license (and this ain't gonna help it, ow), although he looked like he might've been a bit older than the 15 that this usually makes them - maybe as old as 17 or 18, though honestly I'm crap at estimating ages. If I had to try to pin an age on him I'd say 17, but take that as a wild stab. His original story was that someone in an SUV suddenly came screaming up beside him, causing him to swerve, and apparently spin all the way around and end up where he landed - because in front of our house is a three-lane one-way street, with about a good thirty feet of grassy median past that, and another two-land one-way street going the other way. And this guy was turned completely around from the "one way" that the nearest street goes in. And had gone completely over about ten feet of grass and sidewalk, THROUGH our fence, to land up against our porch with the front end of the car smashed, because lucky for us our porch is no-nonsense solid concrete.
Anyhow, the police naturally were skeptical, and before it all was over, someone showed up that apparently does estimates of this sorta thing for a living (I have no idea who it was, she was kinda apologizing for the kid, so I don't know if she was a relative who wasn't about to make excuses for him or what), and she pointed out the tire tracks where he went *through* the median strip from the other damn street, so... the guy ended up getting cuffed right there and taken away in the police car, so we'll see what the paper has to say tomorrow, or probably the next day.
The suckiest thing for us? Like I said, he went through our four-foot tall wire fence, which we just got put in maybe about like 4 years or so back. It took out a whole twenty-foot or so section out front, and made a pretzel out of the gate there. So now I had to go up and borrow a lead to put the dog on, because she usually has the run of the yard and now she has nothing to keep her away from the busy three-lane boulevard out front. Poor doggie, she doesn't do well with restrictions. On the bright side, for a change a wrecked car missed our mailbox, our neighbor's mailbox, both trees out front by the sidewalks (all of which is a minor miracle on this street, I swear), AND missed my nice mulberry tree by about maybe two feet or so. About all that happened other than the wrecking of the fence were a few snapped twigs I think on the tree from the fence ending up tangled in it, and some of the branches of one of my bushes out front being snapped from I suppose the impact. It's too dark to really see full extents of the damage now though, so I'll have to look tomorrow.
Gah, the sound of that smash and coming down to see that car where it was was NOT good for my health, I swear.
Got some pics with my digital camcorder, but I'll probably put them up later, or tomorrow, after I can maybe get some shots of the fence and all as well.